Everyone, at least once in their
lives, has experienced getting into a relationship. When you are in a healthy
relationship, both individuals support each other, sharing good times, and
helping or supporting each other through tough times. When someone matters
deeply to you, and those feelings of trust and respect are returned, it enables
us to face the world with confidence. Building and maintaining a healthy
relationship needs a commitment from both sides to make their partnership
work. But it is truly worth all the effort because when you are in a good
relationship, you feel right about your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you also
feel good about yourself.
Not all relationships work that way
no matter how much we might want them to. When there is violence, the link can
become destructive, which can make it both physically and emotionally
dangerous. Abuse can be physical, emotional, or sexual. Slapping, hitting, and
kicking is forms of physical damage that can occur in both romances and
friendships. Emotional abuse, like teasing, bullying, and humiliating others,
can be challenging to recognize because it doesn’t leave any visible scars.
Threats, intimidation, putdowns, and betrayal are all harmful forms of emotional
abuse that can hurt not just during the time it’s happening, but long after
too. Sometimes, abusive relationships are easy to identify because some of the
abuse may be very subtle. In general, abusive relationships have a severe power
imbalance, with the abuser controlling or attempting to control most aspects of
life.
While appearing to be powerful,
abusive individuals are often very dependent upon their partners for their
sense of self-esteem. Sometimes they expect their partners to take care of day
to day tasks which most adults handle for themselves. Abusive partners often
feel powerless in the larger world. The relationship may be the only place
where they feel a sense of power. Attacking their partner’s abilities or sense
of self-worth is one way that abusive individuals maintain a sense of power,
esteem, and control. At a deep emotional level, abusers often feel that they
are not good enough and fear abandonment. By keeping their partners in a
fearful or dependent state, they attempt to ensure that their partners will not
leave them.
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